it's not Him, it's me... seriously

there's a pattern that i'm seeing in life. things that i want. things that i can't have. things that i can't have now. things that i shouldn't want. and then, again, there is this thing called "WHAT GOD DESIRES." a.k.a - God's will, God's plan, God's preferred plan, God's sovereign plan, whatever. pick anyone of those titles and if you're like me, you wrestle with the why's of life and the why not's of life. 

see, the problem is that i'm not always satisfied with His choices in my life. i'm not always satisfied with my choices in life either, but i think i give God more beef because He's perfect - and because He is, i guess when He doesn't do what i want, somehow, i seem to fool myself that he's less than perfect - which he's not. hear me clearly, HE'S ALWAYS PERFECT and RIGHT!

it's part of that pattern that i was mentioning to you. i discovered the problem in the formula. it's me. it's always been me and what i want. major problem. it's not Him, it's me. it's not Him, it's you and me. it's not Him, it's us. seriously. i know it sounds like a bad break up line, but it's so true. 

amazing, that as cheezy as my excuses seem to be, even to me, he doesn't break up. i'm sure that it bothers Him. but He's slow to anger and quick to forgive - me and my stupid patterns. it's in this that i take satisfaction. it's in this that i find joy. even though i'm me, He's still Him. that's enough for me and us all.